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I decided to choose a porn entirely at random and review it. Let's hope whatever I picked doesn't suck too bad...
Tough Stuff from Hot House! Actually this looks pretty hot; considering what is in my porn pile, I could have done a lot worse.
As I look at the DVD cover, I think perhaps the movie should have been called Hairy Stuff, since out of 8 guys, 6 either have hairy chests and/or beards, and Arpad Miklos has let his chest hair grow out to the point where he looks like an absolute beast. But I digress.
The movie opens with a grumpy looking C.J. Knight scraping plaster off the interior wall of a San Francisco apartment with an amazing view. Painting-partner Kevin Armstrong also scrapes paint, but he looks highly amused. C.J. begins taking off his shirt, sits on a bench and sticks his face in Kevin's crotch. So much for foreplay! That's cool, I can live without it.
Hot House Man Kevin has a nice, thick dick; butch and stubbly C.J. immediately swallows it. Considering his butch appearance, Knight makes a surprisingly eager bottom, staying stiff as an ironing board as Kevin pummels him. This scene will turn you on over and over again, is my bet.
Knight Sucks Armstrong
Painting remains the theme in scene two, which unfortunately I had to fast forward because I didn't like Kai Grant's shirt (flannel with the sleeves ripped off.) That said, before I hit the fast forward button I had to notice that Vinnie D'Angelo has a really thick—and nicely shaped—penis.
The next scene is the best. I can tell you that even before watching it, since uber-hotties Tyler Saint and Francesco D'Macho have just entered the frame carrying an electric stove. Tyler sits down and begins rubbing his dick through his tight Levis, as Francesco pretends to hook up the gas on the stove or whatever. Tyler has a thick, spear-shaped dick with an up-thrusting head that, the way he shows it off, grabbing it and swinging it around, you can tell has gotten him a lot of attention in bathhouses over the years. D'Macho has excellent posture, surprisingly rare among buffed-out porn stars. Francesco swallows Tyler's cobra and they proceed from there, with Tyler eventually putting Francesco on his back and fucking him so you can the fleur de lis tattoo above Tyler's butt. Francesco cums without touching himself, it's pretty hot.
Saint Pounds D'Macho
Okay, I have enjoyed two out of three scenes so far, no need to proceed any further, this porn gets an A+!
(Scene 5 is available for watching at Hot House's Backroom, though I could not, since I apparently do not have Flash Player 9.)